I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize