Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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