physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
