sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize