You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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