after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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