Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize