There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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