You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
