weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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