i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
