I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
