think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
