yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
