she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
