but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
