two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
