seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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