And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
