He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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