Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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