hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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