like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
