i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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