so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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