Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You took a bar mat shot.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
