toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
