32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
