You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
