just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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