I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she peed on how many people?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
