I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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