How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
