You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We left an ass print on the piano.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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