plz talk dirty to me
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize