we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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