Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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