I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
