A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
