6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
