The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
