i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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