so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
