i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
