; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
