Me. At least after what I've been through.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize