I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
