Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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