Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
sarcasm needs its own font
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
