Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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