No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
