**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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