it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
