I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize