ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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