Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize