Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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