did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
