well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
