I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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