I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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